Change is the only constant . . .
Coaching is the umbrella term I use to describe how I work with individuals. In it my education, experience and passion find their most productive place. I discovered this passion for human development as young graduate student and have been dedicated to the process of change for 35 years. During that period of time, researchers have given us irrefutable evidence that humans continue to grow throughout our lifetime. As our world becomes increasingly complex, it is imperative that we grow into deeper and wider stages of development in order to navigate and assist our world.
Individual coaching work focuses on developing the competencies one needs in order to grow. My training and experience in coaching, psychotherapy, integral theory, energy work, spiritual direction and practice allow me to customize my approach to meet the needs of the individual. What my clients have in common is both a desire to change something important in their lives and the realization that they are meeting resistance such that they can’t affect the change they’d like on their own.
Change in our complex world may be the only constant but that doesn’t make it easy. We want to change yet we get in our own way, something like stepping on the gas and putting on the brakes at the same time. Our inclination is to learn a new skill in order to solve a problem. But that often results in the same “you,” one who certainly knows more, but has not really changed.
What’s called for is a change in our operating system itself. But moving into that new territory is scary. It involves giving up some of who we think we are, the familiar territory, for ways of being that are new.
Scary, yes, but also full of possibility because what drives us to look for help in the first place is the fact that our familiar way of being is no longer sufficient for one or another area of life. Generally that’s because somewhere deep inside; we’re ready for real change.
So how does it work?
It begins with getting to know a fascinating aspect of ourselves, our “structural lens,” a way of being in the world which is largely invisible to us. Not only is it invisible but it unknowingly protects us from making the changes we desire. While our way of being has wonderful qualities that have allowed us to accomplish a great deal, at some point, it becomes limiting. But it’s all we’ve got, so we keep using our familiar way operating system, seeing and acting through that “structural lens” having fallen into the frustrating pattern of “trying the same thing over and over, expecting different results.”
Using the assessment lenses of integral theory, my first step is to help you recognize, your way of being. We start there because you can’t change what you can’t see. You’ll come to appreciate both the strengths (which you will want include as you grow) and the limitations (which you’ll drop out as you change). This is not about discovering what’s bad and getting rid of it. Once your current way of entering the world is clear, we’ll chart a path toward a deeper and wider way of being.
This part of the process involves learning new competencies through specific practices, reflection, feedback and support as you grow into a new way of being that increases your capacity to address a particular difficulty and allows you to live from a place of greater fullness and freedom. It is from this new place that you can be of greater service to the world.
Individual coaching process:
- Begins with an initial session at no charge. This gives both you and me a sense of each other, a time to ask questions and to ascertain whether coaching is what you need at this time. If you decide to begin coaching I will recommend how to proceed. Often the process involves:
- Two 1 ½ hour appointments
- In the first appointment I will gather information about what you are seeking to accomplish and from a variety of assessment lenses ask questions to determine what competencies need to be strengthened.
- In the second appointment, I will propose a coaching program that will outline specific developmental objectives and an approximate number of sessions we’ll need to achieve those objectives.
- Once we agree on your program, we’ll meet in person, on the phone or Skype every two to three weeks for one hour sessions.
- Between sessions you’ll be engaged in practices I design for you which will build the muscles needed to accomplish your goal. I’ll be available for check in calls or emails during this time.
We may decide this approach does not fit your particular challenge in which case, I will suggest the approach I think will serve you. For those of you who are interested in spiritual development, please read my SQ page as well.
In either case you can expect:
- To gain insight into your current way of operating, both strengths and limitations
- To have a new way of operating that you’ll grow into
- To strengthen existing capacities and learn new ones through a process of practice and reflection
- To receive support and feedback throughout the process